For Now…..

After what happened recently i have not had a good appetite or energy due to feeling depressed.  I haven’t been eating normal as i don’t feel like i’m hungry when i try to eat i will feel sick and i just feel tired all the time and i keep feeling like i don’t want to wake up cause  i know when i wake up i will just feel pain so i make myself go back to sleep. When i sleep i forget all of the pain i am suffering during the time that i am awake .

I try to watch kdramas and listen to music like i usually do to make me happy but i just lost interest in them all…no matter what i try to do the feelings still come back.  I really don’t know what to do any more..

Heart breaker

I fell for someone who said the most perfect things to me and they said that they’d never hurt me and we pinky promised but they eneded up hurting me. and now I’m sat here feeling heartbroken and depressed. I have been feeling really down lately and crying over this whilst the other person doesn’t even care at all.
He shouldn’t of lead me on when he already had someone. And not give me a full explanation. I hate him so much.My heart really hurts and I don’t know what to do , I just feel like crying every second. 

I’d Never Thought I’d Miss You This Much…

So as you all know I’ve recently started college not too long ago (September).  I’ve met a lot of people and have made great friends but there’s this certain boy who caught my eye . I met him while me and my group of friends were hanging out at the staircases he was hanging out on one staircase above us. Well me and my friends was just chilling like the usual. Then all of a sudden he decided to come down and see us, we started talking and then after awhile he and his friends went. While i was kind of talking to him i had this feeling inside of me knowing that i’d fall for him. But i never thought that i’d have really deep feelings for him due to past experience. As time went by i kept seeing him around college and i get so excited every time i see him. He never fails to make me happy. But recently i found out he left college and i was very surprised. it was very weird because the last time i saw him he said to me’give me a hug’  and i just walked off then i said to my friends ‘ he asked me for a hug, but i just walked off , i feel really mean now’ and one of my friends said’ just go back and give him a hug it might be the last time you see him’ so i did go back and give him a hug. it really was the last time i saw him again at college . what a coincidence ey? I’m so glad that i went back and hugged him because i would’ve of regretted it if i didn’t. i loved his hugs but i felt kind of weird because i was so small compare to him and i didn’t even know where i was going to place my arms hahah! Every now and then when  i miss him i will think of our memories together and it makes me happy. But it really gets to me knowing that i’m never going to see him again, it really hurts me. i know he only lives an hour away from me but we haven’t spoken to each other since that time i hugged him so im really scared to ask for his number. if only he knew how much i miss him. One of his friend who i became close with who i think knows that i miss him. im not sure. One day i hope i bump into him when i go to Harrogate <3